I can't sleep.

I wish I could sleep.
I wish a wave of relaxation would wash over my back.
I wish I felt Kensho at work.
I wish people didn't get cancer.
I wish my mind didn't take imprints of people during the day.
I wish my mind would be fully present and fully not engaged.
People are like quicksand.
Or I am an idiot.
(As in, don't step in and you won't fall down.)
I wish I wasn't an idiot.
I wish I didn't move so fast.
I wish there was a place within walking distance of work that had really good sushi.
I wish Health South would pay back my whole student loan.
I wish we could afford a house before I'm 40.
I wish I had ever gone to a James Brown concert.
I wish there was time (and a place) to go for a 20-minute jog every day at lunch.
I wish I could do speech therapy in a treehouse.
I wish there was a pulley system whereby 85-year-olds could come up without too much trouble.
I wish they would like it.
I wish we could eat the sushi up there.
I wish birds would land on branches near the treehouse.
I wish lizards would wiggle nearby, too.
I wish I ever practiced the violin.
I wish work was done every day at 2.
I wish I could take the long view.
I wish I did something productive with my energy.
I wish I felt as good every afternoon as I do every morning.
I wish the sun was shining and Neil and I were on a walk.

Grilled cheese and cartoons

The boys of my generation resemble each other.

Soko fumu na
Yube hotaru no
Ita atari

-Issa

Do not tread on the grass
Where fireflies glowed
Last night

(Tr. Asataro Miyamori)

Brain symmetry

I was thinking last night about symmetry in nature, and what biologists and physicists and mathematicians understand about it. Maybe there are natural elements that appear to exhibit symmetry (e.g., a leaf is split down the middle), but the cellular composition is actually much more complex. (Although something could be symmetrical and complex. I wonder what the opposite of symmetrical is, besides asymmetrical. Random is perhaps going too far.) Anyway, I was wondering how deep the symmetry goes. If it does go deep and it is a feature of organic structure, I wonder if it can then be a sort of lens that organisms can be seen through. So if there is an organism (or organ) that appears not to demonstrate a lot of symmetry, I wonder if it could be examined with specific symmetry parameters in mind, and then that same organism would reveal a symmetrical composition that had been previously unnoticed. Specifically, the brain. I know there's the right and left hemispheres, but I wonder how deep symmetry goes in the brain, in terms of structure but also nerve patterns. It would be interesting to explore the latest research on specific areas being sites for specific cognitive functions (e.g., left hemispehere: language) in terms of symmetry, especially because if other parts of the brain also are mildly activated during a cognitive task, they could be seen as part of the pattern. Of course, maybe even if symmetrical characteristics are common to organisms, they are also common to non-organisms, like raindrops and rocks. But that doesn't mean that the questions couldn't be tested anyway.

interesting mapping format

www.kartoo.com

English is fun

Her response was lukewarm.

Wrong, but you're getting warmer.

My husband is hot.

If I get home late, I'm toast.

Simmer down!

Starbucks was sizzling after class got out.

My brain is fried after that test.

We got so baked last night.

The boss roasted me for wanting time off.

She said no? Oh man, you got buuuuuurned!

Googolplex

First definition: "one, followed by writing zeroes until you got tired."

Awesome.

Google has jobs in Phoenix. And internships, which I think are paid. And also they have free lunch and dinner, which might include grilled cheese. All we'd need is, like, some computer-science education. I set the heat turn-on temperature higher last night, so the heat actually went on during the night. I think that was a good move, as I am not in my usual near-shivering state. I feel comfy. Hopefully I can stave off shivers all day. Unlikely. Maybe when my toes ice-crystalize I will tuck my fingers into my armpits and fantasize about Google's probable free grilled cheese. Yum!

My foot hurts

OMG, I totally need to go to the gym. And jog. Maybe tomorrow I can get some good stretches in when I'm teaching my mom downward dog.

I need to clean this computer keyboard but I'm not sure with what. Windex? I wrote a paper and Powerpoint last night and tried to save them to a cd but the only option it was giving me was to "burn" them. That's for music, not 2-page essays! So when I take the disc to work today I'll find out whether they saved or not.

My digital-arts teacher says that if a cd jumps around, like it has scratches on it, and you copy it on your computer, the new cd will be virtually jump-free. He also says that the information is stored at the top of the cd, where the picture is, not at the bottom.

I wish I could listen to Yo Yo Ma playing Bach all day. I want to plow through roads in my mind and leave meadows.

Who's acting now: Limbaugh diagnosed with Parkinson's

Just kidding.

Besides shaking, shuffling and festination*, PD symptoms and effects include (but are not limited to) drooling, inability to successfully swallow (leading to aspiration pneumonia, and eventually death; the alternative being a food tube inserted into the stomach), depression, anxiety, difficulty with orientation and attention, difficulty with impulse control, memory loss, dementia, dizziness, fainting, and incontinence.

But Michael J. Fox was obviously exaggerating.

I'll bet GOP legislators are already drafting a letter thanking Rush for the great boost he's given their candidates in Thursday's elections!

* Festination: a combination of stooped posture, imbalance, and short steps. It leads to a gait that gets progressively faster and faster, often ending in a fall. -Wikipedia

a band apart

this should be like a celebrex ad or somethin.

Workin' on Saturday night

This weekend we met our new niece Norah, who is exceptionally beautiful. Like her mother. Also, I learned to play Rummikub. It's really fun. I am totally in the mood to cuddle [with Neil] in blankets tomorrow and watch Back to the Future. Did you know that members of Congress have to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to their party campaign coffers? Of course, it comes out of their own coffers, which isn't as bad as if it came out of their wallets. The money then goes to support candidates in the tightest of races throughout the country. Isn't that kind of communistic? But the money=political stature system we have right now is totally capitalistic. So it's communism within capitalism. Please correct this assertion, via comment, if you have better information. Senators apparently are not expected to pay. Speaking of, John McCain supports Prop 107, which not only would make same-sex marriage illegal (redundant, since it already is illegal), but apparently would retract any domestic-partnership benefits currently in place for heterosexual couples. Would that anti-same-sex-marriage activists would go feed children or something.

Girl at Mirror

Norman Rockwell

Soft, sweet

GRAZER: Chanda Hagen coaxes Matilda, a Babydoll miniature sheep, to feast on weeds in Clos Pepe’s Pinot Noir vineyard. (Stephen Osman / LAT)

From The Blood of Others, by Simone de Beauvoir

"You'll regret it," said Blumenfeld. "So you think that Hitler will stop at Austria? You'll see. France's turn will come."

Gauthier looked coldly at Blumenfeld. "Is it possible to stop a country from committing suicide? Everything that you've told us amounts to a suicide story."

He was so sure of his pacifism, so sure of himself. "I am a pacifist." He had given a definition of himself once and for all, he had only to act in accordance with his own idea of himself, neither looking to left or right, as if the road had been already marked out, as if the future had not, at every instant, been that gaping void.

It's fall

It doesn't rain so much these days. I can't believe the pope said that. Even if he was quoting.

I am planning to work this Sunday. Maybe I can trade it for a day off next week! And Neil and I will go rollerskating.

My contact lenses have been threatening me for about an hour. But first there were so many things that I had to do. Switching to glasses takes 1.5 minutes and, worse, requires a shift in thinking.

That's weird: If you're at the computer you can do different things, like read the news and alternately peruse jcrew.com, but on the other hand you're still at the computer. Like, if there was an fMRI of the brain during computer use, and you were reading a science article about water, would there be a greater alteration in brain patterns/areas if you A. got up to get a drink of water or B. created a new tab and checked out jcrew.com?

Speaking of Mrs. Hoff, am in complete support of these findings.

Monday.

I loathe about.com.

I wish I'd majored in classics.

I wish I'd majored in English and paid more attention.

"Some" is a really weird word.

I am meeting Anne at Yoga Hour for $4.

It will be an adventure because I don't know if Yoga Oasis takes debit.

Also, I don't have a mat.

Today's News

So would the prospective benefits of mandatory voting be worth the insult to our God-given freedoms to burn ballots and shirk the polls for Beavis and Butthead reruns? Further, I can't wait to reach into my plastic baggie next time I want to buy a soda or put on lipstick. Kate Spade should seize the market. Off to swallow group. Abracadabra, homes.

A Not Unattractive Site

Positive and enlightening inspiration for aspiring would-be writers everywhere:

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.

-Jim Guigli Carmichael, CA

For more rich and pithy selections, please click here.

Sunshine sleep

I am fixin' to take a blanket and book and water cup to the glider and read. A glider is like a swing, but it glides. I haven't read on the glider yet. Last week I tested its suitability by sitting on it a spell. I think the reading venture will be successful, so long as I don't get heat stroke. Whole nother pot o' worms.

Neil and I both got new contacts recently. Yesterday Neil moved a plant from the back room to the front room. It has leaves that resemble elephant ears. The veins are yellow and on some leaf parts they are red. I'm not sure it the red means that they are happy or unhappy. Neil said the plant clearly is dying and needs more light. I hope the new positioning is good for the plant. Today, Day 1, it looks sort of wilty on the ends and perky in the middle.

Soon we'll put the wedding pics online in a better format. Perhaps flickr. Recently I read The Accidental Tourist. Good book and it probably would be a useful read for anyone in grief. Also I read Bergdorf Blondes. Fair, and it probably would be a useful read for anyone who mistakenly has personal criteria for when it is and isn't OK to take a PJ. PJs are always OK.

I am thinking about making basmati and lentils tonight. My friend Anne said she just had that in L.A. and it was really good. Maybe I could add onions and cumin ... and potatoes? Are potatoes good in a crock pot-type rice cooker? Bye.

I just watched the last 20 min. of Oprah

D, Your Dosha is Vata

Creative and restless, you take in all of life's pleasures (maybe a little too much!). You're quick witted and very talkative, but you also tend to have a spotty memory. You tend to get very into ideas, people, and lifestyles... but only for a short time. It's difficult to hold your attention, and you sometimes feel (missing mystery word) with what life has to offer. With friends: You are very uncomfortable in new situations or with new people In love: You fall in and out of love very easily To achieve more balance: Live in a warm climate and spend some quiet time in nature

What's Your Dosha?

N, Your Dosha is Pitta

You have a quick mind, a gift for persuasion, and a sharp sense of humor. You have both the drive and people skills to be a very successful leader. Argumentative and a bit stubborn, you have been known to be a little too set in your ways. But while you may be biased toward your own point of view, you are always honest, fair, and ethical. With friends: You are outgoing and open to anyone who might want to talk to you In love: You are picky but passionate To achieve more balance: Be less judgmental of those around you, and take cool walks in the moonlight.

What's Your Dosha?

our camera takes blurry pics or, saturday night at sauce and(/or) n+d have a new car (thanks craig fam!)

some photos flickr didn't want

hi

A man wrote on my head in red crayon this morning: Death by 23 small x's. I am a zombie! It is sooooooo much easier to TCB when you have a weekday off, let me tell you, zombie or not. As of today: A. Neil is insured on our car. B. Our car is registered for another year, so the next time we get pulled over for having a 3/06 sticker, we can shout, "The new sticker is in the mail, suckaaaaa!" C. I will not be fired for the fact that my state licensure is up 6/30 and I have not yet sent in the renewal form, since Mary from ADHS said processing time is fast and they'll fax an advance copy of the new license. D. No fewer than 76 cards are waiting blankly to be transformed into thank-you notes. E. The post office has confirmed that it's not holding onto copies of Neil's "The Economist," which apparently didn't come during our two weeks away.

And as of yesterday, we found a house to rent! It is really cool. The walls are different colors, including blue, green and light yellow, I think. The colors are classy -- not too primary or too light. Kind of Ralph Lauren Santa Fe. And there's a yard! And many windows, including in the bathroom. And wood floors. And it is situated just NE of Grant and Campbell, which is farther from our jobs but in a lovely neighborhood that is jogging-friendly and walking distance from Bookman's, Yoga Oasis, sushi, Indian, Vietnamese, coffee, etc. Right now I am completing my CEUs (continuing education units) online and learning about the demonstrated efficacy of lingual strengthening exercises on the swallowing efficiency of people with ALS, Parkinson's, ataxic dysarthria, spastic cerebral palsy and closed head injuries. Please don't hesitate to submit any questions.

Queen's Birthday

We are married! The front quarters of the apartment smell like Raid. Neil arrived from work early in the afternoon and found the kitchen teeming with ants. At work, probably around the same time, Diana suddenly pictured "ANTS!" as a good name for a horror flick. This demonstrates ESP. Or the ability to remember the names of films made barely 8 years ago.

Marriage is nice, so far. My mind is a delicious soup, secondary to fatigue. Thank you, friends, family and the weather, for a lovely wedding. We are happy.

I just read James M. Cain's Mildred Pierce and found it highly enjoyable. You should read it too.

We got free beer.